It’s a little strange writing an obituary, of sorts, knowing that you’re going to fill it, at least in part, with abuse. I suspect, though, that Steven Wells – who died from cancer last week - would not have wanted it, probably, any other way. Swells was one of the best, most ridiculous and infuriating journalists that I worked with at NME through the 1990s. Every conversation would turn into an argument. Every commission would be delivered as a means to bait the paper’s long-suffering readers. Most pieces, whatever their notional subject, would degenerate into the same old jokes and rants. Anything roughly approaching artrock – or, and this is a critical distinction, what Swells thought was artrock – would be wrIttEn AbOUt lIkE thIs. More or less anything that didn’t sound like Atari Teenage Riot, or Daphne & Celeste, would be dismissed as Jingly-Jangly Indie Wank, made by Indie Saddoes – who of course would flood NME’s mailbag with wounded, indignant missives. He was, however, a genius, as his old sparring partner David Quantick articulates beautifully in today’s Guardian. It’s interesting how hard it is to remember the music that Swells championed over the years, not least because so much of it was, by most high-minded critical standards, rubbish. What’s much more memorable is the demented vim, intelligence and peculiarly elegant prose which he used. I always think that music writers who create a cult of themselves at the expense of writing about music tend, in general, to be a bit tedious, but Swells was one of those gleaming, brilliant exceptions to the rule. It strikes me, today, that given some of the music writers whose work has been anthologised, it’s somewhat scandalous that a Swells primer doesn’t exist; a document which proves him to be a kind of British Lester Bangs; unfettered by good taste, driven by wild idiosyncracies, an enduring belief in the transient and explosive pleasures of pop, fierce political convictions and a strong moral compass. Perhaps it would work best as a document of one man’s intolerances rather than his enthusiasms. For perhaps Swells’ greatest work was his war on the music and culture that he perceived as spineless, fey, joyously easy to rip to shreds. His legacy, perhaps, is not the great weight of Fun-Da-Mental interviews, or that strange and brief period in the 1980s when he made the Bradford 1 In 12 Club sound like the most exciting cultural hotspot in Britain. Instead, it’ll be the pathological hounding of Belle And Sebastian, Morrissey and their like, tireless screes of invective that in some cases lasted for decades. Every singles column he filed – hilarious, unfailingly – would degenerate in this way, magnificently. And every year or two, he would stumble upon new victims; like Bis, say, one of whom once apparently nudged him slightly, allowing him to interpret it as a kind of fey assault and turn the whole thing into an even more hysterical, indignant vendetta. Hours would go by arguing with the man, who never of course changed his opinions, though he was a much better listener than some of his splenetic prose would suggest. Arguing with Swells was a fine sport, in fact, and one of his many amusing secrets was that he was a much nicer and more tolerant man than his theatrical persona would suggest; happily and enthusiastically aware of his own preposterousness. Which is probably another reason why we allowed him to insult our readers for so long – even they, or at least the sane ones, didn’t take his rage to heart. He made a rich and comic artform of it, where most anyone else would have just come across as snide. Talking of his secrets, another, I seem to remember, was his musical taste. Once, exasperated after another long argument (we disagreed about almost everything to do with music, happily enough, and agreed with a lot of things to do with politics, though still found plenty of time to argue about those, too), I asked him what he really listened to, in quiet moments – if there were any. Surely it couldn’t be Extreme Noise Terror all the time? If memory serves, he told me The Beatles and classical music. Though that could’ve been another joke I guess. Whatever, a good man: rEst In pEAcE.

“Somebody better get me a fucking elevator. I’m fucking 60!” Here’s Bruce Springsteen huffing and panting into his microphone, during “Out In The Street”. He's just pulled himself up from a prone position at the top of a set of steps that lead from the stage to the pit, and the audience beyond. Later, during “Born To Run”, he’ll actually end up on his back at the top of those stairs, calling to Miami Steve Van Zandt to help him up. It is, perhaps, a rarity to find our favourite rock stars admitting to their advancing years. Indeed, you could be forgiven for thinking that many of them seem determined to shy away from acknowledging the passing of time at all. You only need to look at Mick Jagger, for instance, and the vigour of his stage performances and that extraordinary teenage frame to see a man clearly in denial of the fact he can now travel on a bus without having to pay for it. But, perhaps, it’s different for Springsteen and The E Street Band – who are introduced tonight as “the heart-stopping, pants-dropping, house-rocking, earth- shaking, booty-quaking, Viagra-taking, love-making E Street Band.” Certainly, with the passing of organist Danny Federici in April 2008, it strikes me as disingenuous were Springsteen and co to entirely ignore their own mortality. And, certainly, when they’re racing through a three hour-plus performance like this – opening with a breakneck version of The Clash’s “London Calling” and rarely letting the pace falter – you wonder, perhaps, just how long they can carry on doing it. Springsteen’s shirt, for instance, becomes drenched in sweat in the opening 30 minutes; one camera, shooting the band for the big screens that sit on either side of the stage, catches him between songs glugging down some juice, most of it running down his chin. It must be punishing delivering a set of this intensity. But, of course, this is what Springsteen does – and has done with The E Street Band – for close to 40 years. In some respects, you might argue that it’s as familiar and polished as a Vegas show. During “Waiting For A Sunny Day”, for instance, he goes down to the crowd and passes the microphone to a small kid to sing along to the chorus. In other hands, of course, such a gesture might well be considered the height of schmaltz; but with Bruce doing it, it elicits a soft sigh from the crowd (many of them parents themselves, of course). There’s plenty of Looney Tunes-style comedy mugging, too, principally between Springsteen and Maimi Steve; during “Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)”, Steve seems to be complaining to Springsteen about Nils Lofgren taking an extended guitar solo. Clarence Clemons, too – with his Predator dreads – gets a cheer every time he plays a sax solo; and an even bigger one when he whips out a penny whistle on “American Land”. It’s all very convivial. Equally, Springsteen is more than happy to spread the love to a younger generation; earlier in the day, he’d already joined the Gaslight Anthem on stage for their song, “59 Sound”, and now he invites their singer, Brian Fallon, to join in for “No Surrender” (they’d done similar in Glastonbury). "It's still early!" bellows Springsteen at 9.45, 15 minutes or so off his curfew, as the remaining wisps of blue disappear into the night sky. The set winds its way through rousing, singalong versions of "Born To Run" and "Jungleland" to "Glory Days" and "Dancing In The Dark". It seems highly likely he'd have carried on playing all night - but, alas, there was no "Born In The USA" or "Thunder Road". Of course, you might wonder whether Springsteen will still be belting out sets like this in 10 or even 5 years time. But until such time as he decides to hang up his work shirt, cowboy boots and Telecaster, we should continue to enjoy shows of this calibre. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band's Hyde Park set list was: 'London Calling' 'Badlands' 'Night' 'She's The One' 'Outlaw Pete' 'Out In The Street' 'Working On A Dream' 'Seeds' 'Johnny 99' 'Youngstown' 'Good Lovin'' 'Bobby Jean' 'Trapped' 'No Surrender' 'Waiting On A Sunny Day' 'Promised Land' 'Racing In The Street' 'Radio Nowhere' 'Lonesome Day' 'The Rising' 'Born To Run' 'Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)' 'Hard Times' 'Jungleland' 'American Land' 'Glory Days' 'Dancing In The Dark' Pic credit: PA Photos

UNCUT GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL AWARDS 2009 THE WORST BEST KEPT SECRET The KLAXONS’ surprise appearance on the Park Stage (Saturday). Superhero fancy dress and all. SONG OF THE SUMMER Florence & The Machine, ‘Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up’. The perfect Pagan anthem for the sunkissed Children Of Avalon (John Peel Stage, Saturday). BEST GLASTO DEBUT ‘Saucy Jack’, SPINAL TAP’s theme to their legendary musical about Jack the Ripper received its world premier on the Main Stage (Saturday), eclipsing even the wee fellers jigging about to ‘Stonehenge’ and guest turns by Jarvis Cocker (bass on ‘Big Bottom’) and Jamie Cullum (keys on the jam). NEW BEZZIE MATES AWARD The Boss and BRIAN FALLON. Bruce made a guest appearance with THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM ( John Peel Stage, Saturday) during the ‘’59 Sound’ and then Brian returned the favour, joining the E STREET BAND for ‘No Surrender’ on the Main Stage (Saturday). ONE FOR THE LAYDEES LILY ALLEN (Main Stage, Friday). Possees of lasses on the scrumpy lash, hen party stylee, with no wedding in prospect in mass empowering sisterhood singalong. All together now: “Fuck you! Fuck you very very mu-u-u-u-uch!” AVOIDANCE OF A VERY OBVIOUS JOKE I-THANG-YOU-VERY-MUCH Wot, no ‘Portaloo Sunset’? Grumpy old Kink RAY DAVIES resists the temptation to rebrand his 60s singalong hit (Acoustic Stage, Friday) THE EASY TIGER, THAT BLOKE’S GETTING ON A BIT AWARD Lee Thompson, the saxy one in MADNESS, flying on strings (Main Stage, Sunday) to recreate the classic ‘Baggy Trousers’ video. Top work feller. BRAVERY BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY Stephen Street, producer extraordinaire of The Smiths and Blur etc, donning guitar and depping for Graham Coxon, who’d knobbed off to join Damon and the boys, in PETE DOHERTY’s inspiringly shambolic backing band. Advice from Graham: Just follow Pete’s lead. Oh fuck! BEST MICHAEL EAVIS SIDE OF STAGE APPEARANCE During the CROSBY, STILLS & NASH set (Main Stage, Saturday). It must be said Sir Mike looked younger, fitter and in much finer fettle than the Cros. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? STRANGEST RANDOM COVER VERSION IN NEAR SYNCHRONICITY AWARD Candy Staton’s ‘You Got The Love’ played by KASABIAN (Main Stage, Saturday) and FLORENCE and her MACHINE (John Peel Stage, ditto). Just plain spooky. BEST STAGE INVASION The emotional geezer who wrestled the mic off JARVIS COCKER (John Peel Stage, Friday) to announce, “Without this man, Britpop would have been shit!” leaving our Jarv all gee-shucks and embarrassed. BEST HAIR Elly Jackson, no contest. The LA ROUX quiff remained steadfastly erect under the lashing rain, burning sun and an over-enthusiastic dry-ice machine (East Dance, Saturday). Truly a feat of architectural proportions. NOSTRODAMUS HAS SPOKEN KASABIAN will headline next year after striding into the bigtime on a wave of mass, loved-up euphoria (Main Stage, Saturday). The people have spoken. DON’T GIVE UP THE DAY JOB JACK WHITE drummed for THE DEAD WEATHER during a surprise turn on the Park Stage (Friday). He can play a bit, sure, but when he picked up the geetar for ‘Will There Be Enough Water’ it was noticeable how the set took a turn for the tuneful. YOU HAVE TO TAKE YER HAT OFF TO… All the enterprising bastards who had “I was at Glasto 09 when Jacko died” T shirts on sale at their stalls by lunchtime Saturday. THE “WHAT KEPT YOU? OH, A HAM SADWICH!” AWARD NEIL YOUNG, who finally made it to headline the Main Stage (Friday) after a 12 year delay. His sick note says he cut his finger while preparing a ham sandwich. Yeah, and the dog ate my review… BEST JACKO TRIBUTE Lily Allen’s one white glove. WORST JACKO TRIBUTE DIZZEE RASCAL and DJ SEMTEX blasting the Main Stage crowd (Saturday) with ‘Thriller’ and ‘Billie Jean’ and shouting “oi” over the top. I mean, put some effort in man. Who the fuck can’t do that! WHERE HAVE ALL THE JOURNOS GONE? Gone to see THE BIG PINK every one. (John Peel, Saturday) PUT IT AWAY LASS, YOU’RE NOT IN ESSEX NOW LADY GAGA (Other Stage, Friday). Her boobs exploded, she bared her bum. Got in the papers. Job done. PUNK’S NOT DEAD AWARD NICK CAVE who dedicated The Bad Seeds’ set (Main Stage, Sunday) to… Farah Fawcett. BEST STAGE PROP Giant inflatable eyeball, YEAH YEAH YEAHs (Other Stage, Sunday). DAMN NEAR STOLE THE WHOLE SHOW AWARD PENDULUM, whose mass megarave (Other Stage, Saturday) apparently forced the TV folks to flash a strobe warning on screen. The day-glo revolution will be televised, oh yes siree. CRAZIEST CIOVER VERSION ‘Coma Girl’ – something Joe Strummer recorded with his Mescaleros apparently. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN did it (Main Stage, Saturday) as a tribute to the late, great Joe, a long-standing Glasto looner. THEY MAY HAVE REFORMED FOR THE MONEY BUT, HEY, THIS FEELS KINDA MOMENTOUS THE SPECIALS, san Senior Dammers (Main Stage, Friday), Terry Hall speechifying: “It’s taken us 25 years to get here but things are still the same. Then it was the National front. Now it’s the BNP!” That’s ‘avin’ it politico old skool. CHEEKIEST COVER VERSION DIZZEE RASCAL (Main Stage, Saturday) starting his set with The Ting Tings’ ‘That’s Not My Name’ and smuggling a Wiley diss into the bargain. THE YEAH, THERE’S A RECESSION ON AND PEOPLE DIE AND STUFF BUT THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE BEST GLASTO EVER AWARD BLUR for the magnificent Fest-closing Sunday slot on the Main Stage. Phil Daniels back for ‘Parklife’, Graham bouncing about on grins’n’guitars. ‘Song 2’. Whoo-hoo! Luvverly! THE WEEKEND SOUNDTRACK Kasabian: ‘Fire’. Bangin’ bigtime Neil Young: ‘Rockin’ In The Free World. Jam-packed with finales. Pendulum: The whole damn ape-crazy est. La Roux: Bulletproof. Numero Uno. The Specials: ‘A Message To You Rudy’. Non-embarrassing dadskank Madness & the crowd: It Must Be Love. A big, sunshiney hug. Aaaaah! Pete Doherty: The Libertines’ ‘Time For Heroes’. A moment. Florence & The Machine: ‘Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up’). The Wickerlass. Blur: ‘The Universal’. The final bliss-out. Steve Sutherland

THE WORST BEST KEPT SECRET The KLAXONS’ surprise appearance on the Park Stage (Saturday). Superhero fancy dress and all. SONG OF THE SUMMER Florence & The Machine, ‘Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up’. The perfect Pagan anthem for the sunkissed Children Of Avalon (John Peel Stage, Saturday). BEST GLASTO DEBUT ‘Saucy Jack’, SPINAL TAP’s theme to their legendary musical about Jack the Ripper received its world premier on the Main Stage (Saturday), eclipsing even the wee fellers jigging about to ‘Stonehenge’ and guest turns by Jarvis Cocker (bass on ‘Big Bottom’) and Jamie Cullum (keys on the jam). NEW BEZZIE MATES AWARD The Boss and BRIAN FALLON. Bruce made a guest appearance with THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM ( John Peel Stage, Saturday) during the ‘’59 Sound’ and then Brian returned the favour, joining the E STREET BAND for ‘No Surrender’ on the Main Stage (Saturday). ONE FOR THE LAYDEES LILY ALLEN (Main Stage, Friday). Possees of lasses on the scrumpy lash, hen party stylee, with no wedding in prospect in mass empowering sisterhood singalong. All together now: “Fuck you! Fuck you very very mu-u-u-u-uch!” AVOIDANCE OF A VERY OBVIOUS JOKE I-THANG-YOU-VERY-MUCH Wot, no ‘Portaloo Sunset’? Grumpy old Kink RAY DAVIES resists the temptation to rebrand his 60s singalong hit (Acoustic Stage, Friday) THE EASY TIGER, THAT BLOKE’S GETTING ON A BIT AWARD Lee Thompson, the saxy one in MADNESS, flying on strings (Main Stage, Sunday) to recreate the classic ‘Baggy Trousers’ video. Top work feller. BRAVERY BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY Stephen Street, producer extraordinaire of The Smiths and Blur etc, donning guitar and depping for Graham Coxon, who’d knobbed off to join Damon and the boys, in PETE DOHERTY’s inspiringly shambolic backing band. Advice from Graham: Just follow Pete’s lead. Oh fuck! BEST MICHAEL EAVIS SIDE OF STAGE APPEARANCE During the CROSBY, STILLS & NASH set (Main Stage, Saturday). It must be said Sir Mike looked younger, fitter and in much finer fettle than the Cros. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? STRANGEST RANDOM COVER VERSION IN NEAR SYNCHRONICITY AWARD Candy Staton’s ‘You Got The Love’ played by KASABIAN (Main Stage, Saturday) and FLORENCE and her MACHINE (John Peel Stage, ditto). Just plain spooky. BEST STAGE INVASION The emotional geezer who wrestled the mic off JARVIS COCKER (John Peel Stage, Friday) to announce, “Without this man, Britpop would have been shit!” leaving our Jarv all gee-shucks and embarrassed. BEST HAIR Elly Jackson, no contest. The LA ROUX quiff remained steadfastly erect under the lashing rain, burning sun and an over-enthusiastic dry-ice machine (East Dance, Saturday). Truly a feat of architectural proportions. NOSTRODAMUS HAS SPOKEN KASABIAN will headline next year after striding into the bigtime on a wave of mass, loved-up euphoria (Main Stage, Saturday). The people have spoken. DON’T GIVE UP THE DAY JOB JACK WHITE drummed for THE DEAD WEATHER during a surprise turn on the Park Stage (Friday). He can play a bit, sure, but when he picked up the geetar for ‘Will There Be Enough Water’ it was noticeable how the set took a turn for the tuneful. YOU HAVE TO TAKE YER HAT OFF TO… All the enterprising bastards who had “I was at Glasto 09 when Jacko died” T shirts on sale at their stalls by lunchtime Saturday. THE “WHAT KEPT YOU? OH, A HAM SADWICH!” AWARD NEIL YOUNG, who finally made it to headline the Main Stage (Friday) after a 12 year delay. His sick note says he cut his finger while preparing a ham sandwich. Yeah, and the dog ate my review… BEST JACKO TRIBUTE Lily Allen’s one white glove. WORST JACKO TRIBUTE DIZZEE RASCAL and DJ SEMTEX blasting the Main Stage crowd (Saturday) with ‘Thriller’ and ‘Billie Jean’ and shouting “oi” over the top. I mean, put some effort in man. Who the fuck can’t do that! WHERE HAVE ALL THE JOURNOS GONE? Gone to see THE BIG PINK every one. (John Peel, Saturday) PUT IT AWAY LASS, YOU’RE NOT IN ESSEX NOW LADY GAGA (Other Stage, Friday). Her boobs exploded, she bared her bum. Got in the papers. Job done. PUNK’S NOT DEAD AWARD NICK CAVE who dedicated The Bad Seeds’ set (Main Stage, Sunday) to… Farah Fawcett. BEST STAGE PROP Giant inflatable eyeball, YEAH YEAH YEAHs (Other Stage, Sunday). DAMN NEAR STOLE THE WHOLE SHOW AWARD PENDULUM, whose mass megarave (Other Stage, Saturday) apparently forced the TV folks to flash a strobe warning on screen. The day-glo revolution will be televised, oh yes siree. CRAZIEST CIOVER VERSION ‘Coma Girl’ – something Joe Strummer recorded with his Mescaleros apparently. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN did it (Main Stage, Saturday) as a tribute to the late, great Joe, a long-standing Glasto looner. THEY MAY HAVE REFORMED FOR THE MONEY BUT, HEY, THIS FEELS KINDA MOMENTOUS THE SPECIALS, san Senior Dammers (Main Stage, Friday), Terry Hall speechifying: “It’s taken us 25 years to get here but things are still the same. Then it was the National front. Now it’s the BNP!” That’s ‘avin’ it politico old skool. CHEEKIEST COVER VERSION DIZZEE RASCAL (Main Stage, Saturday) starting his set with The Ting Tings’ ‘That’s Not My Name’ and smuggling a Wiley diss into the bargain. THE YEAH, THERE’S A RECESSION ON AND PEOPLE DIE AND STUFF BUT THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE BEST GLASTO EVER AWARD BLUR for the magnificent Fest-closing Sunday slot on the Main Stage. Phil Daniels back for ‘Parklife’, Graham bouncing about on grins’n’guitars. ‘Song 2’. Whoo-hoo! Luvverly! THE WEEKEND SOUNDTRACK Kasabian: ‘Fire’. Bangin’ bigtime Neil Young: ‘Rockin’ In The Free World. Jam-packed with finales. Pendulum: The whole damn ape-crazy est. La Roux: Bulletproof. Numero Uno. The Specials: ‘A Message To You Rudy’. Non-embarrassing dadskank Madness & the crowd: It Must Be Love. A big, sunshiney hug. Aaaaah! Pete Doherty: The Libertines’ ‘Time For Heroes’. A moment. Florence & The Machine: ‘Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up’). The Wickerlass. Blur: ‘The Universal’. The final bliss-out. Steve Sutherland